Insight

Today I’m going to dig a little deeper and let you, my readers, learn a little more about me. You already know that I’m a teacher, a bookworm, am super close to my family, and that I have a tattoo. What else is there to learn about me? I have walls but I think it’s time to let a few of those walls down.

  • I’m an overachiever. There. I said it. I was always the type of person who wanted to do well in school. But then college happened. I stayed on top of my studies my freshman semester at Marshall and West Liberty. Then one morning in August 2007 I woke up and was sad. I didn’t know why and the more I tried to fight it the sadder I felt. When I started the fall semester at West Liberty I made it through the first week but that sadness was still there. By week 3 I was sleeping a lot more and skipping my 9AM science class. I knew that I was hurting my grade by doing this but I didn’t care. Eventually I was only going to two of my classes and by midterms my grades were ‘Incomplete’ in 3 of my 5 classes. By the end of the semester by GPA was a 0.52.  My depression set me back an entire semester and something inside me snapped. When the spring semester began I hit the ground running. I tried so hard to make up for the previous semester. In May of 2008 I made the Dean’s List with a GPA of 3.8. Every semester I put a lot of pressure on myself to continue the high GPA because I did not want to repeat the Fall 2007 semester. It’s been almost ten years since that semester but I still don’t know what triggered my depression. What I do know is that chapter shaped me into the overachiever I am today. A part of me doesn’t know if I should be proud of that or not.
  • I’m adopted. I was born in San Salvador, El Salvador & one day before my 1st birthday I arrived in WV. My parents have always been supportive and awesome. However, other family members haven’t been. There have been times at family gatherings such as birthdays or reunions that I didn’t feel like I was part of the family. With the exception of one of my cousins they always made it a point to remind me that I was adopted. I don’t let them know that it bothers me because I’m the type of person who lets things slide off of my shoulders. Now that we’re all older they don’t understand why I don’t make the effort to see them when they’re in. If I did explain why I don’t think they’d understand.
  • My work and church families make up for the lack of family love and support from my cousins and other family members. They are so supportive that it always surprises me. Last March my mom had gallbladder surgery Throughout the day my co-workers checked in to see how the surgery was going and how it went. My church family did the same. When I did my first half marathon last May my co-workers threw a small surprise good luck party the day before the race. When Pap passed away last August I was at work when I found out. My co-workers surrounded me with love and solace. Two teachers came in to watch my kids for a few minutes so I could have a minute to fall apart and process the news.
  • I struggle with self confidence. Part of it stems from my surgery that I had when I was a baby. From that surgery I have two scars. One on my right side that extends up into my back and the other is right above my navel. These scars are the reason why I don’t wear low cut dresses or why I’ll never wear a bikini. But I did decide to do something a week ago that I’m excited about and will definitely boost self positivity.

Three of these four insights are something that I don’t share very often with people. But today I thought it was time to let more people see me for me. Maybe letting the walls down isn’t a bad thing.

 

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7 thoughts on “Insight

  1. Thanks for sharing. 🙂 That adoption thing seems to be prevalent for too many people. I wish people would stop feeling the need to remind someone they are adopted.

    Like

  2. Familes comes in all shapes and sizes. Thank goodness you have such a strong support surrounding you. That will keep you going for a long, long time.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I feel honored that you recognize this writing community as supportive enough to share these details with us! You have a knack for self-awareness and finding a silver lining. Looking forward to your next posts!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. It definitely takes a lot of courage to write and share the difficult parts of our experiences, so thank you. But, you are not alone. Often, it is these hardships that bind us and shape us as writers and as people. Your slice might give others the courage they need to breakdown their walls.

    Liked by 1 person

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